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Thread: Possible adults only trip—feeling a little guilty....

  1. #1
    Senior Member nolarookie's Avatar
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    Possible adults only trip—feeling a little guilty....

    My husband asked me about taking a long weekend anniversary trip to WDW, without the kids. I’m a little conflicted.

    Our anniversary is in October. I’d very much like to go in October, and the kids school schedule would make it easy for me to orchestrate family members to have them over. However, my husband would rather put it off until early December entirely because of Galaxy’s Edge opening in August.

    There are a couple reasons why I don’t want to put it off. 1. Holidays are busy and thanksgiving is late this year. 2. This isn’t our first trip, and likely won’t be our last. If we skip GE, or HS altogether, I’m good. 3. Not jazzed about being away from home during the holiday season without the kids.

    Anyone have any thoughts on this date selection?

    Also, I’m feeling kind of bad about planning this without the kids altogether. They’re 13 and 11, and have been plenty of times, so I don’t know why I feel this way. This would be a different trip. We’d like to experience food and wine, maybe play golf if the weather’s nice, try some new restaurants...

    Anyone take a couples trip and feel conflicted like this? Did you go? How was it?

    Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated!
    Brandi

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    Possible adults only trip—feeling a little guilty....

    Quote Originally Posted by nolarookie View Post
    My husband asked me about taking a long weekend anniversary trip to WDW, without the kids. I’m a little conflicted.

    Our anniversary is in October. I’d very much like to go in October, and the kids school schedule would make it easy for me to orchestrate family members to have them over. However, my husband would rather put it off until early December entirely because of Galaxy’s Edge opening in August.

    There are a couple reasons why I don’t want to put it off. 1. Holidays are busy and thanksgiving is late this year. 2. This isn’t our first trip, and likely won’t be our last. If we skip GE, or HS altogether, I’m good. 3. Not jazzed about being away from home during the holiday season without the kids.

    Anyone have any thoughts on this date selection?

    Also, I’m feeling kind of bad about planning this without the kids altogether. They’re 13 and 11, and have been plenty of times, so I don’t know why I feel this way. This would be a different trip. We’d like to experience food and wine, maybe play golf if the weather’s nice, try some new restaurants...

    Anyone take a couples trip and feel conflicted like this? Did you go? How was it?

    Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated!
    We went during Food and Wine and left the kids with grandma for a long weekend. Our kids have been many times, so we asked them to each pick out something they’d want us to bring them back and promised we’d try our hardest to find that exact item (which we did). They obviously wanted to go, but would’ve been miserable just walking around food and wine all day. They had fun with grandma anyway and got their souvenirs, so everyone was happy in the end.

    PS- Star Wars will be just as swamped in December as in October. That thing will be a constant bottleneck for the next two years till everyone makes a few passes through.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  3. #3
    Senior Member nolarookie's Avatar
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    Thanks graydogg, the souvenir idea is great.
    Brandi

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    That first trip as adult only was tough. I was feeling so guilty and didn't want to tell DGD where we were going.
    But you know what, she really didn't care that much, not for more than a second. As you say, she's been often and continues to go once a year, at least.
    But we absolutely fell in love with adult only trips. So much more relaxing, more like a real, true vacation. As I'm sure you know from experience, Disney can be anything but relaxing, as much fun as it is.
    And if you have to pick a time for an adult only trip, There are so many things at F&W that are for adults only. Pick a meal pairing and try one out.
    Enjoy your couple time!

  5. #5
    Senior Member nolarookie's Avatar
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    Thanks AngiTN! We are taking a family trip this summer, and while I know, intellectually, my kids will only care a little bit, it’s still hard! But, yes, we would have a totally different (more relaxing!!!) trip.
    Brandi

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    Yup, our first trip without the kids was difficult.... at first. We wondered if we would enjoy ourselves without the kids, if we would feel guilty, what would we do without them, etc. Well, I remember walking to our room thinking "Ahhhh... we're here." Once we started to relax we found that we were much slower paced and just did whatever we wanted, including just sitting with a Mickey bar and people watching.
    We've taken many "adult only trips" since then and enjoy ourselves thoroughly. We've done carriage rides, massages at Senses, wandered Disney Springs, it's just a different kind of vacation. We still take our kids even though they're grown now and we all look forward to our family vacations but going just the two of us is terrific too. I hope you have as much fun as we do.

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    josh's date at akershus stevenmilz's Avatar
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    Been there, done that, a few times actually. We had no qualms about going to WDW without the kids (we were passholders for 8 years... my now 12 and 10 year old kids have been to Disney 30+ times). Heck, we've even gone on a Disney cruise without our kids. I would definitely go in October and enjoy Food and Wine. All of our sans-kids trips were during F&W and we enjoyed doing seminars and special events, plus just going at our own pace.
    Steve
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    Senior Member Anne's Avatar
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    I agree, in your situation I would rather go in October than December. I doubt star wars will be any less crowded in December than October.

    And I also agree, the guilt part is hard. BUT it is always important in a marriage to have time as a couple without the kids. It is good for you AND good for the kids. If your favorite place to go is Disney, then I'd go to Disney.

    We haven't been able to go to WDW on a couples trip since the kids were born because we don't have anyone to watch them for long enough to make the trip/transportation time worth while. But if we did I would absolutely do it! I have been to WDW on shorter trips several times without the kids with other family and friends for race trips, work trips, and birthday trips. The kids have been surprisingly ok with it. They have grumbled a little when first told but that's about it. And my husband always makes sure to have guy-bonding stuff and camping and fishing and hiking planned while I'm gone and they like that just as much as Disney and they enjoy telling me how much they "got away with" while I was gone ;-)

  9. #9
    My DW and I are taking our first adults only trip this September for her 40th birthday. We had talked many times about doing F&W once the kids (12, 9 & 6) were out of the house. However, once our planned trip to London fell through, my DW chose Disney over a beach vacation for her birthday (I've taught her well!). The kids grumbled a bit, but we are planning a family vacation to Disney for August 2020, so that calmed them a bit. I honestly have no guilt about going without the kids, though this isn't our first kid-free vacation, just the first one to Disney World.

    I've actually quite enjoyed torturing them about it. Though I expect a bit of guilt once there and they will ultimately make out with all of the goodies we'll bring home for them.

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    I would go during food and wine. In fact, DH and I have done it three times now without DD and love it. It is a completely different trip, and while we love our trips with DD we also love our trips just the two of us. As for feeling guilty, I do and I know I shouldn't. We take DD every year for a 10 day trip, and have since she was 3, so she is in no way deprived. But if she knows where we are going she would be very upset that we went without her. So, we don't tell her where we are going. We just tell her its none of her business where we go, and when she asks to know we tell her she would be upset no matter where it was so it doesn't matter, which is true. She is a master at trying to guilt us into doing what she wants, and I don't want to give her more ammo.
    Cindy



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    Senior Member BSS's Avatar
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    We did our first adults only trip in 2009 when our kids were 7, 9 and 11. I felt guilty before we went, but we had such an incredible time just doing what WE wanted. Everything is easier with just 2 adults. It is an entirely different trip and one that is definitely worth taking. I would agree, though, that I'd rather do October rather than December for all the reasons you stated. Food and Wine is great without kids (and with kids, but different). I hope you go and have a wonderful time!
    Jen

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    I love our adult only trips! I always tell my kids it's "for research" purposes... to make the family trips even better! They laugh and really are just fine with it.

    The only time I felt a wee bit guilty was the last adult trip because we were chosen as family of the day in the opening ceremony (when it was still at the train station).

  13. #13
    Senior Member nolarookie's Avatar
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    Thanks for all all the positive reinforcement and the clear votes for October, I’m excited to share the results with my husband and lord it over him.

    We really would have only 6 days to get away, that includes two travel days. We thought about going to NYC, but I’d like to bring the kids with us to NYC in the future. I’d like to go to Key West, but Im not sure how my husband feels about it. He kept coming back to the idea of doing WDW.

    I’m warming up to the idea about it being just me and my husband. It is an anniversary trip after all. We go out to dinner every year to a traditional spot, which we really enjoy, but we’ve never really taken a trip for the occasion. Since WDW is probably cheaper than the alternatives we’ve considered, I may be able to justify some MNSSHP tickets. My kids detest anything remotely spooky, and I love Halloween so it may be my big chance.
    Brandi

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    Senior Member BSS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nolarookie View Post
    Since WDW is probably cheaper than the alternatives we’ve considered, I may be able to justify some MNSSHP tickets. My kids detest anything remotely spooky, and I love Halloween so it may be my big chance.
    I feel like this makes it a no-brainer! The atmosphere at MNSSHP is really fun. If you love Haloween you will really enjoy it.

    Also, if you've only gone with kids, you will be surprised at how much more quickly and efficiently you will move around the parks just the two of you. You will get more done in less time which frees up time for new experiences or to just relax in the parks or at the resort.
    Jen

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    Senior Member Disneyfan's Avatar
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    I wasn't sure if I should share my thoughts, but here goes. . .

    DH passed away a few years ago. He taught me to never have debt, saving is usually better than spending, and splurge every once in a while. Some of the best memories I have are the times we splurged. When we become parents, most of our time is taking care of our children and providing for them. But every once in a while you need to splurge a little of your time and just enjoy each other. There is no need to feel guilty about making memories with you husband.

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    Senior Member nolarookie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disneyfan View Post
    I wasn't sure if I should share my thoughts, but here goes. . .

    DH passed away a few years ago. He taught me to never have debt, saving is usually better than spending, and splurge every once in a while. Some of the best memories I have are the times we splurged. When we become parents, most of our time is taking care of our children and providing for them. But every once in a while you need to splurge a little of your time and just enjoy each other. There is no need to feel guilty about making memories with you husband.
    Thank you. I’m glad you decided to share, it brought tears to my eyes. We are getting older and the 15 years we’ve been married flew by. We wanted to take a trip on our 10th anniversary, but it was terrible timing for both of us at work, and we just shelved the idea.

    You’re right, it is time we splurged on spending time together.
    Brandi

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    Quote Originally Posted by Disneyfan View Post
    I wasn't sure if I should share my thoughts, but here goes. . .

    DH passed away a few years ago. He taught me to never have debt, saving is usually better than spending, and splurge every once in a while. Some of the best memories I have are the times we splurged. When we become parents, most of our time is taking care of our children and providing for them. But every once in a while you need to splurge a little of your time and just enjoy each other. There is no need to feel guilty about making memories with you husband.
    Your DH was very wise. So sorry for your loss. I completely agree with you. Parents should not feel guilty about taking some time to foster that relationship that led them to be parents in the first place. That relationship is the foundation that makes the whole family stronger.

    As for fostering the relationship in WDW, we’re about to go on our third such parents only trip. Our three kids never had a problem with us going. Like others suggested, F&W is a great time to go and makes it seem to the kids that you won’t being having the same fun they would usually expect.
    June 2004 ASMO; Dec 2005 POP; Feb 2007 POP; March 2011 POR; March 2014 POR; Feb 2015 BWV; Sept 2015 PVB; Jan 2016 AKV Jambo (kind of); Feb 2016 OKW; Sept 2016 PVB; Feb/March 2017 BWV/PVB; Aug/Sept 2017 BCV; Feb 2018 BLT/CCV

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    Senior Member Mrs Darling's Avatar
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    I'd echo all the comments above with one exception: on our adults only trip we were fine when we got there but were gone 6 days and it was day 5 & 6 when we started to really miss the kids & feel guilty about being away so long.
    I found the same thing on a 5 day girls running trip but it's hard to shorten it more than that so I'd stick to 5 days in the future.
    I think some guilt is inevitable but I keep in mind that they are really privileged with all the do get to do with travel, sports, dance, activities etc. And even the care and attention we give them on a daily basis, they have it pretty good.
    It also helped to have a future date lined up for a family WDW trip, even though it was more than a year out.
    ~Stacey

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    Senior Member nolarookie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs Darling View Post
    I'd echo all the comments above with one exception: on our adults only trip we were fine when we got there but were gone 6 days and it was day 5 & 6 when we started to really miss the kids & feel guilty about being away so long.
    I found the same thing on a 5 day girls running trip but it's hard to shorten it more than that so I'd stick to 5 days in the future.
    I think some guilt is inevitable but I keep in mind that they are really privileged with all the do get to do with travel, sports, dance, activities etc. And even the care and attention we give them on a daily basis, they have it pretty good.
    It also helped to have a future date lined up for a family WDW trip, even though it was more than a year out.
    When my kids were younger, I had a conference for work in DC. This was about 8 or 9 years ago, so I think they were five and three or maybe four and two. Anyway, my husband joined me and we added on a day or two to do some sightseeing. Those extra days were pretty miserable, and we missed the kids a lot. So I hear you. I think that was the last time we took a trip without them. Now they have gone to their grandparents’ house for days at a time and sleep away camps, but we haven’t left them at home to go on vacation since that DC trip.

    Now this whole plan is contingent on grandma being available.... they’re actually out of town now so I’ll have to hit them up when they come home, and hope our dates align with their travel plans.
    Brandi

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    Senior Member Mrs Darling's Avatar
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    I hope you do get to do this, for all the great reasons Disneyfan and others have said. Cmon grandma.
    ~Stacey

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    Senior Member nolarookie's Avatar
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    Grandma is available the weekend we want to go, so it looks like we’re planning an adults only trip!

    We broached the subject with the kids. The 13 year old was totally fine with it. The 11 year old admitted he would be jealous, but after we told him we planned to spend a lot of tome in world showcase, he was less so.

    My guilt has subsided, somewhat, and is replaced with anticipation. Also, I know, rationally, I should not feel guilty for a whole host of reasons. Also, I think we’ll be doing enough different things that we won’t feel like we’re on a family trip without the rest of our family.

    I’ve priced out a few options and I think we’re staying somewhere cheap on 192 in Kissimmee the first night, we’ll be driving so likely get in very late, then planning on staying 4 nights at POFQ. Which will be new to us, and seems much more “adult” than other places we’ve stayed with our kids.

    Thanks for the encouragement to take a couples trip!
    Brandi

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    Woohoo! So fun! I'm so glad you're getting a chance to go!

  23. #23
    Senior Member Disneyfan's Avatar
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    Oh wow! Excited for you!!

    When you go on an adult trip, you can do the adult things, such as the World Showcase, without the kids getting bored and making you feel anxious and taking away a little of the enjoyment. On the other hand, you can do the kiddie things such as Pooh and be real excited without the teens rolling their eyes. Chances are Grandma will spoil the kids as only Grandmas can. I hope your trip is enjoyable and as stress free as possible.

  24. #24
    josh's date at akershus stevenmilz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nolarookie View Post
    planning on staying 4 nights at POFQ. Which will be new to us, and seems much more “adult” than other places we’ve stayed with our kids.
    It is more "adult" IMO. You'll love POFQ. It's by far our favorite moderate, and we probably like it more than many of the deluxes too. The lack of a TS restaurant is the biggest negative, but POR is right next door...
    Steve
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  25. #25
    Senior Member Anne's Avatar
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    Yay grandma! Have a wonderful trip!

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