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Thread: Existential angst as a WDW fan?

  1. #26
    Senior Member pixarprincess's Avatar
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    sorry to hear how rough things are for you right now! I know its cliche but hang in there.

    I think a lot of the reason we all come back is the nostalgia. The happy memories we want to experience again. And, that is ok. But its also ok to say it is time to move on to something else.

  2. #27
    Senior Member mgarbowski's Avatar
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    First, Brian, I'm so sorry to hear about your larger troubles. I wish for you and your family to work things out for the best.

    On the WDW front:

    Quote Originally Posted by bnoble View Post
    So, the time and the money are not issues in and of themselves, Disney is far from the only thing we do, and we are already more relaxed about how this all works.

    I just don't know why I keep doing it.

    As I alluded to above, I'm in the midst of re-examining pretty much every facet of my life. And for most of those things, I've either figured out why I want to keep doing what I've been doing, or I've figured out what I'd rather do instead. For some reason, WDW is still in the not-sure-why but not-giving-it-up pile.
    I think we can over-analyze our leisure choices, and when we do so, there's a one-way bias. We are all aware of habits, and most self-aware people try to police them. We're on the lookout for instances where we keep doing the same things even though we no longer get the same enjoyment. Whether it is season tickets for a sports team, or a subscription to an Opera company, or an annual WDW trip, we occasionally remember to take an account and ask "do I still enjoy this as much as I used to and is it worth the time and $$ I devote to it?" That's good and healthy. But then we expect it to be subject to rational analysis and it doesn't always work that way.

    Sure, I personally just listed multiple ways WDW seems to be giving me less every year, and lots of folks here did the same. But I still want to go, even if my Pro/Con list doesn't tally positive. I could very well be misreading you, but it sounds like maybe you might be trying to figure out why you still feel an urge to go even though logically it seems you shouldn't still want to as much as you once did. If that's the case I suggest you stop trying to figure it out and just acknowledge sometimes you want something and aren't sure why.

    Or I'm completely off base and WTF do I know. But good luck.
    Mark
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  3. #28
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    Brian, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I know we don't really know each other, but over the many years of reading your posts on TGM and here, I feel like like the connection is more personal and familiar, even though we've never met. Please know I truly hope that you are able to work things out.

    As for the Disney front, for me, a Disney vacation is a complete escape from reality for me. I know that it's all marketing, but to me, when I am there, Cinderella truly lives in that castle. All my dreams can come true! I know sitting here as I type this on my computer that is not the case BUT when I am there it is. When I am at Disney my everyday life gets left behind with all my daily worries. I think that is why I crave to go. I need to be in a planning phase of a trip or I feel empty, or lost, or that I'm missing something. We have created a lot of amazing family memories at Disney. My daughter considers it her second home. My family thinks we are crazy Disney freaks, they just don't get the pull but for us it feels right.

  4. #29
    the jeweled acrobats only perform amazing stunts for him DopeyRunr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bnoble View Post
    I know you are trying to be funny here, but I am in the midst of a separation, not living at home, and likely headed for divorce.

    So thanks for that.
    Oh my god Brian I'm so sorry, both for what you're going through and my horrible joke... Clearly in very poor taste. My deepest apologies.
    Follow me on Twitter at: @DopeyRunr
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  5. #30
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    For what it's worth, my current situation is largely my own fault, so don't feel too bad for me.

    it sounds like maybe you might be trying to figure out why you still feel an urge to go even though logically it seems you shouldn't still want to as much as you once did.
    I think it might be the opposite. I don't really feel like going back, and I'm wondering how much that's generic ennui and how much is "Yeah, I'm done with this for a while," because that close friend I mentioned really enjoyed it. I went through this with live sports in the Fall before I figured out that it was the depression talking and not "I don't like this anymore."

  6. #31
    Senior Member nolarookie's Avatar
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    I’m sorry, Brian. I would just echo what others, particularly Mark, have said. WDW is still in the mix for us because of nostalgia, wonderful memories, and still a reliably good time, despite changes there and within our lives.

    Anyway, good luck with everything.
    Brandi

  7. #32
    Senior Member runDisneygirl's Avatar
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    Brian, I'm sorry to hear. I stood by my brother as he just went through this too a few years back. When he was in the midst of it, everything seemed at odds. He questioned a lot of things, and rightfully so. A lot was at stake. So I just want to tell you that now he's about 6 years post-crap, and he can look back on the good things (like their vacations) and it's looking brighter again.

    So again I say the same thing, take a break. WDW is not going anywhere. It'll always be there, waiting for you. And when you do return with the kids, I hope you return at a time when the past is past and you have all good memories and nostalgia instead - with the kids. It'll all be good. Just be patient. Easier said than done, I totally know.

    And if you can sneak in a solo trip some time, just to test the waters for yourself personally, maybe it's not the worst thing in the world? Create some of your own personal memories. Of just you. Nobody else to nag you, beg you, or annoy you! Do what you want to do.... maybe it'll be a different trip altogether and then you won't question it so much? Just another thought. Best wishes to you.
    Tanya

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  8. #33
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    I'm sorry to hear about your personal situation, Brian - I've always held you in high regard as a fellow poster on various fora and I hope you come out the other side feeling better.

    As for Disney ennui, I can see where you're coming from. I'd probably simply not plan a trip for a while, and wait until I get an urge to go back even if it takes a few years. It's not the end of the world if it never happens. Or at that point, do a no-expectations trip and see if it clicks.

  9. #34
    I just don't know why I keep doing it.
    Here's why. There are two reasons.

    First, beyond the happy memories of Disney trips past, beyond the role of Disney trips in your family's history, being a Disney fan is a part of your identity, and with some fundamental other parts of your identity in flux you're holding on tighter to this part, notwithstanding the shortcomings of what wdw currently offers.

    Second, you know how to do wdw really well (how to make the most of your time-share conversion, credit card and travel rewards, AP and TiW; which attractions, entertainment and dining venues you enjoy; how to optimize wdw scheduling/FP+/ADR systems, etc.); despite the hassles it's not particularly hard for you to do, and, independent of the enjoyment you get from the resort, attractions, entertainment and dining, there's the pleasure that comes just from doing something well, which is difficult to give up in its own right, all the moreso when we feel we might've messed up something else.

    I hope this helps.

  10. #35
    Feeling the same way. And today's news about parking fees pretty much sealed the deal for me. Not because it prices us out of a Disney stay, but just because I'm kind of over it all.

    I love Disney, and have my whole life. I grew up about an hour an 1/2 from Disney and have loved going to the parks...from my first visit at ~3, through my college days being a Four Season pass holder (seriously, BEST DEAL EVER!), visiting with my new fiancÚ, my new babies, and my kids as they have grown older on many family vacations. My son and I will go in April for a mom/son trip, and I cannot wait, but that will be our last time....for a while. I'm just done. Disney has made it too hard, and certainly overpriced for what they are delivering. I've subscribed to the whole "they can do it as long as people continue to pay" ideology, but I think we've crossed a line. For me, it's no longer worth what they are charging, as fun as it is. And it's not that we can no longer afford the prices, I just don't want to pay what they are charging, not when Disney keeps upping the price and pulling perks. It's a bummer. Maybe I'll feel differently after a little time away. Or not... Thankful for the memories we made.
    Erin

  11. #36
    Below is my post on the resorts thread summing up how I felt after hearing about the parking increase. Thanks for letting me know this thread existed.

    For what it’s worth I’d like to add my two cents in here. In the interest of full disclosure, I was fortunate enough to visit WDW twice in 2017. Both times I flew and stayed onsite using MDE and Disney transportation. Now even though I’m a relatively short nine hour drive away, thanks to an abundance of airline miles I will continue to fly so the parking fees don’t impact me as of now. I will say if I was to drive or rent a car id be moved to stay off site after this change. This latest move aggravates me.


    Over the past few weeks I have been caught between my heart telling me to go back to WDW and my brain telling me to use my 2018 vacation dollars someplace else. To me a trip to WDW is an escape from the real world, and up till recently I felt like Disney understood that and was even a partner in this mindset. Disney was always there to say “hey we know you need a break, and we are here for you and we will do everything we can for you”. Now I fully understand in the back of my mind that Disney has always done what they can to save and make a buck but it just feels like recently things have gone a bit too far at the expense of customer experience.

    I took my last trip in September of 17, and before that was January of 17, and I could tell a difference in September. While it didn’t seem like the park was any more crowded the lines seemed much longer. I’m well aware of the reduced capacity that Josh has been talking about for a while (even if others are just now catching on). Reduced operating hours, increased number of upcharge events, and things like that are one thing but when I keep seeing more downtime on rides, and reports of dirty parks coupled with moves like resort parking fees, well it just feels like Disney giving me the finger and saying don’t come back we don’t care somebody will pay it and put up with our crap. I’m a laid back guy and I can put up with a lot, annual price increases don’t both me, tiered pricing on hotels and tickets don’t bother me. But I guess I’m at the point where I just don’t feel like I’m getting enough back for what I put in given the perceived attitude of Disney operations.
    I’m still debating if I should book a trip for early 2019, I really want to, but there’s a lot of this world I haven’t seen.

    In short, Disney I don’t want to stop visiting. I want to come spend my vacation time and money on you, please just give me a reason to visit, please make me feel appreciated. If not maybe it is time to visit Italy, or Norway or Germany instead of their pavilions in EPCOT.

    I apologize for the long and whiny post, it’s just some thoughts that have been on my mind and I finally had to put it out there.

  12. #37
    As a follow up, Brian I got divorced 2 years and 1 month ago I got divorced. Im not going to say it was the best thing to ever happen, but I will say it turned out to be better than the situation I was in. Its a dark time to be in for sure and no way around it... It sucks to go through. But when the dust has settled things tend to have a way of working themselves out.

    I could write a very long post about the two trips I mention in my above post both of which were post divorce, and the therapeutic value of them but thats another story for another time.

  13. #38
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    I've dealt with low-level depression on/off for most of my life. Even at its mildest, depression sucks the joy out of things I normally love to do, making it hard to determine what I really *want* to do at times. My brain's reaction seems to be to indicate that I don't want to do anything, which makes it hard to tease out the things that would make me happier if I 'took the plunge'. It might help to schedule (even if it's just in your mind) a WDW trip for a far-off date, and see where your feelings re: the trip go over time.

  14. #39
    Senior Member mgarbowski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bnoble View Post

    I think it might be the opposite. I don't really feel like going back, and I'm wondering how much that's generic ennui and how much is "Yeah, I'm done with this for a while," because that close friend I mentioned really enjoyed it. I went through this with live sports in the Fall before I figured out that it was the depression talking and not "I don't like this anymore."
    Well, being wrong once is no reason to stop trying and give up on a chance to be wrong twice so here I go...

    You're looking at your friend (or family member?) who is going through a rough patch like you are, and WDW has recently helped them get through it, even if just a temporary respite. You'd like that for yourself, but looking at Disney right now you don't see how that would happen for you. Looking at it this way, I say don't try to chase that person's luck/magic/experience. That's likely to fail twice over. I think you should just pick an activity or destination that does appeal to you now and do that.

    That's my $.06 anyway. Good luck.
    Mark
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  15. #40
    Senior Member momof2boys's Avatar
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    Brian- very sorry to hear that. Wishing you and your family all the best.

    Regarding the thread topic, I love Disney- adore many aspects. We haven't been since Nov. 2016 and can not wait for our trip in a few weeks. However, as Brandi and Chrystal mentioned, it is very stressful to plan a trip. We decided to do a quick 4 day trip to Universal in May 2017 and we had a blast! The minute by minute planning was not needed, we were able to see everything we wanted and be back to the pool to swim and enjoy some cocktails. Granted, I know there are only 2 parks and they are much smaller. I am a true Type A- planner and planning my WDW trip makes me anxious, the FP, ADRs, strategy of your park plans. I feel as if I can't be spontaneous. It also seems that Disney is nickel and diming everything these days. As if our vacations don't cost enough! I love it there and we will continue to go back as much as we can. However, as others have mentioned, there is a whole world out there that I want my boys to experience it.

  16. #41
    Senior Member Disneyfan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MimiPlusThree View Post
    Here's why. There are two reasons.
    Light bulb moment for me!
    Just returned yesterday from short WDW trip. DD was with her high school band and I was with my extended family. Naturally, I was belly up 1-1.5 hours before open (no other way to do it - right?!?!). As she woke up and I entered the parks. I sent her moment by moment texts detailing my list of rides accomplished. After her not so magical day at MK, she sent me a text asking if we were returning this summer b/c she missed a strict schedule and wanted to ride rides. After all her moaning and groaning over the years about schedules, I was over joyed to be appreciated for my over zealous planning of the past. BTW she also had good "no plan" days in AK and Universal. But she ASKED me to PLAN a return trip. After experiencing all the new down sides of WDW (haven't been in a couple years), I told my sister that I was probably on my last visit for a long long time. This comment was made four days ago. The minute DD said she wanted to go back, I immediately started planning a trip despite the fact that I stretched the budget for this trip. Why??? Why would I have an "I told you so" attitude about DD not having a magical day at her favorite park?

    Well, you answered that question for me.

    BTW I am still crunching numbers today to plan a mother/daughter trip! After all, she will be a senior next year and will soon be on her own. I already miss her and think this would be a great memory for us. Crazy, right???

  17. #42
    Senior Member Disneyfan's Avatar
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    Brian, thank you for all your advice over the years. I happened upon TGM in it's final days and then came here. My heart goes out to you. Life can be hard. The hard times helped me appreciate good things. My life turned upside down four years ago and I feel your pain. I am learning to enjoy my new normal and am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Things will get better for you one way or another. Along the rough journey, I was able to find little things to bring moments of joy (birds, breezes, sunshine, . . .). I listened to the Rodney Atkins song, "If You're Going Through Hell" really really loudly and that helped, too.

  18. #43
    Senior Member Anne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bnoble View Post
    For what it's worth, my current situation is largely my own fault, so don't feel too bad for me.


    I think it might be the opposite. I don't really feel like going back, and I'm wondering how much that's generic ennui and how much is "Yeah, I'm done with this for a while," because that close friend I mentioned really enjoyed it. I went through this with live sports in the Fall before I figured out that it was the depression talking and not "I don't like this anymore."
    If you can, be kind to yourself. I've been there. It's not easy. I wish you the best at this difficult time.

    As for taking another WDW trip vs not...it will likely be there for our lifetimes. And what you feel like doing this week or this month may not be how you will feel in 6 months. In the short term I'd go with my gut, if I felt like trying a trip I'd do a weekend. If not, I'd let it go and reasses in a few months or a year. If your close friend wants to go again and is looking for someone to go along, consider going to see WDW from fresh eyes. I know I personally wouldn't want to try a solo trip in this situation, it would be too hard for me not to be flooded with all the memories of family time at WDW. But everyone is different and that may be a positive thing for you. It sounds from your posts (and I could be totally off base-I apologize if I am) this has less to do with the changing value proposition at WDW and more about the changes going on for you personally. Again, I wish you the best and hope if you chose to hold off on WDW trips for a time you will still continue to make your presence known here. I have enjoyed your thoughts and comments in the time I've been reading and posting on this board.

  19. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by MimiPlusThree View Post
    there's the pleasure that comes just from doing something well,
    Nah, that's what work is for! :-)

  20. #45
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    We're not nearly as extensively traveled as your family, but we do go other places several times a year...and keep coming back to WDW as well. I, too, should think we'd be close to letting it go for a year or two (in favor of something else, especially as the kids are so much older now) but none of us are quite ready to let it go. We do have a tendency to like what we know and we know this about ourselves (see also the ski trip west every year to the same, very small town and the beach week every year in a very small town that became a 2nd home). Also like your situation, the expense isn't the issue - we can pair it down to fewer days, have done park days staying off-site, the kids are in public school, the house needs some "sprucing up" but having the latest and greatest isn't that important to us, the cars have 100K plus miles, etc. We work really hard and are limited by school and work schedules as to when we can vacation, so we generally spend top dollar to take a break from reality at peak times and don't mind doing it.

    Having taken all kinds of trips - those planned to the hilt, booked 300 days in advance, every ADR in the right place for 7 nights with kids from toddlers to teens to a few fast four-day weekends booked two weeks in advance to single park days with zero FPs - I think we keep going back because it's just our collective happy place. We're not trying to relive the kids being 2 and 4 or even 10 and 12...the ships and their interests at those ages have sailed! And you never have exactly the same pixie dust (or lack thereof) twice...but we do find new/old/new to us aspects to each trip that make it worth returning to, in addition to the nostalgia/must-dos (like TTA and mid-day pool breaks, not multiple rides on the headliners) that make it "fun" for us. Family-wide enjoyment of the WDW resort/atmosphere as a whole in combination with the relative ease of planning to go somewhere you've reliably had a great time before keeps us on the hook, even though the value for the dollar isn't nearly what we'd expect/accept in other facets of our lives!

    Personally, I wish you some peace during what is a very difficult time. I've always enjoyed your wit, wisdom and educated take on our big emotional purchases. Transitions and change are crap. Difficult to manage under the best of circumstances and the cosmic joke is that at mid-life we're not really built to transition or change easily/well. I have had several friends separate/divorce after 20+ years of marriage and will keep you in my thoughts.
    Last edited by kristenb; 03-15-2018 at 06:35 PM.

  21. #46
    I've been once a year for the last few years, so maybe I haven't reached total Disney saturation yet. I did miss out 2016 which helped me to enjoy 2017 so much more. idk, I think going 2-3 times a year like some of you probably would make me a bit sick of WDW.
    Just can't wait for 2017....


  22. #47
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    Brian, we've never met, but you have offered several years of friendly advice to me on these forums. I sincerely hope for the best for you and your family and please know, you will be mentioned in my prayers.

    To address your original thoughts...

    We have not gone as often as most of year...I think this year will be trip maybe 10ish?? Honestly I've lost count. I thought we were done. Husband has had enough, youngest 2 and I went last year for a final good-bye and all agreed it was time...but oldest daughter is graduating HS and hasn't gone for a few years due to sports issues and she requested a Disney trip...so I'm planning...but not very excited. We all talk about things and smile and say "I really like...remember when..." but I'm not into it anymore. The IDEA of Disney still appeals to me, but I don't feel the magic is there anymore. Like Disney isn't trying as much as they used to...

    I would say this is definitely last trip...but youngest daughter's band is going next year...so we will head down again. Have extended it in the past, but I'm thinking next year we may take off and go to the coast and stay on the beach somewhere...I just am done. And honestly, it make me very sad. Going to Disney was always my dream as a child and when we started on our honeymoon I was thrilled and couldn't wait to share with kids....makes me sad I no longer feel that joy about it.

  23. #48
    First the practical:

    I would try Universal Studios Orlando. I was doing three trips a summer to Cedar Point with a different grandchild in tow for each visit and fast becoming heartily sick of a park I have loved for over forty year. So I decided to try something different and take my eldest granddaughter, who was not a fan of Cedar Point anyway due to being afraid of the majority of rides, to Canada's Wonderland. This gave my granddaughter and I a whole new appreciation for Cedar Point. We weren't even out of the parking lot when she asked, 'We're going back to Cedar Point next year, right grandma?.

    Sometimes, just a new perspective is needed.

    Now the existential:

    Sometimes it's hard to believe the magic when reality is busy grinding you down. Sometimes you see the corrupt face beneath the glitter and it destroys the magic. Sometimes you just outgrow the magic. And sometimes, if you are very lucky, it reappears. For me, it reappeared thru the eyes of my grandchildren.

    Sometimes, just a new perspective is needed.

    Good luck.
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  24. #49
    he's right
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    So, I've decided to get back in touch with my adrenaline-fueled roots for now, foregoing the emotional manipulation and bacchanalia of a typical Disney trip. In connection with the "let's re-examine every single facet of my life" journey I'm on right now, I bought a 2018 Cedar Point Platinum Pass last Fall. You got one day's admission in 2017 if you bought one, and I needed a day at the Point. Plus it gets me into every Cedar Fair park in 2018, parking included, all for about $225 or so.

    On Wednesday, I decided I needed a mental health weekend this weekend. Since August, I've dropped about 80 pounds and gone from a 40" waist (and that's being a little generous; 40s were tight) to a 32", so now I fit on everything again---I'd been avoiding Cedar Point and its ilk for a while, because I didn't want to face the fact that I was too overweight to ride half the coasters. So I poked around the Delta vacations site to see if there was a cheap trip to an open Cedar Fair park. $500 got me round trip flights plus two hotel nights in Charlotte, which meant a visit to Carowinds.

    Carowinds happens to be the home of a surprisingly decent coaster collection. I hadn't really been paying attention during the "I can't really ride anymore" phase of my life, because again I was unwilling to face facts, and knowing that Cedar Fair has been building great coasters was part of that facing of facts. One of the rides in that collection is Fury 325, a B&M giga. It's sort of a twister combined with an out-and-back, and it is fierce, ranked #1 in a couple of different ranking lists. Having been on several others on those lists, Fury deserves it. Awesome ride. Intimidator isn't half bad either.

  25. #50
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    Glad you’re enjoying yourself! Have a great rest of your weekend!
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