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You are here: Home / Blog / The Five Best Quick Service Meals at Walt Disney World

The Five Best Quick Service Meals at Walt Disney World

March 31, 2013 ~ 3 minutes read66 Comments

5. Steak and Pork Platter – Pecos Bill – Magic Kingdom

Boy oh boy is this a platter drenched in deliciousness.  Let’s start with the hamburg…I mean 12-ounce petite filet mignon, expertly char-grilled and aged no less than 12 hours.  That’s right.  They don’t microwave it until you’re in the general vicinity of ordering it.  It’s topped with a mouth watering pesto sauce that would make even Olive Garden blush.  Mama mia!  Next up is the cornbread.  Baked to a consistency that makes it perfect for those recovering from major jaw surgery, the cornbread will melt in your mouth because it was never solid to begin with.  Counts as a beverage on the Disney Dining Plan.  Spooned from the giant pork vat of pleasure, this Colorado-style BBQ pork is much easier to shovel into your  hungry mouth than any of that nonsense in between a bun.  I just wish I could dig into that vat of pleasure with a bigger spoon.  How could I forget the salsa?  What does it go on?  What doesn’t it go on, friend.  Spoon a little bit onto everything.  Finishing up with the corn, which is cooked just long enough that it’s literally falling off the cob to satisfy you.  So savory.

4. Burrito Premium Hot Dog – Fairfax Fare – Hollywood Studios

There are few things Disney loves more than guests sharing food.  If they had it their way, everyone would book Be Our Guest dinner and share a single cupcake.  Enter Mickey Hybrid Entrees™, which are half-vegetarian, half-meat-glorious.  As you can see above, the hot dog covers exactly 50.0% of the tortilla, making this perfect for couples to share when one is busy saving the world, while the other senselessly murders animals for food.  Those selfish enough to eat one of these by themselves will have a hard time deciding which half is their favorite.  Personally, I prefer the hot dog half.  With the sour cream creating a wet, slippery canvas, trying to get it in your mouth is sort of like playing with a damp badger.  Delicious.

It’s coming right for you.  How convenient!

3. Tabbouleh Pita – Gasparilla Grill – Grand Floridian Resort and Spa

If there’s one thing in this world I love, it’s got to be balls.  And that’s one thing this pita offers in spades.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything more palatable in my life.  The website’s highest recommendation.

2. Pasta Primavera with Shrimp – Tomorrowland Terrace – Magic Kingdom

If your favorite pasta sauce isn’t cold balsamic vinaigrette salad dressing then I’m going to punch you in the face until it is.  This is amazing.  The shrimp are so gummy that you can literally bounce them off the floor into your mouth.  Give it a try!  The pasta was cooked no longer than two days ago, making this some of the freshest food on property.  The Terrace isn’t always open, but when it is, I prefer the Pasta Primavera.

1. Angus Pizza Burger – Cosmic Ray’s Starlight Cafe – Magic Kingdom

One fine afternoon last year, I was whimsically skipping down Main Street toward the exit, Tinker Bell balloon in hand.  A Disney cast member asked if I would like to participate in a brief survey.  Knowing Disney surveys are never brief and often contain 50 or more questions, I jumped at the opportunity.  Question 67 was: What are your ideal hamburger toppings?  Pickles, avocado, lettuce, and other ridiculous toppings were included, but my eyes were drawn straight to “old ham” and “salsa.”  I was so adamant about these toppings appearing on a Disney burger that I walked back up and down Main Street over 100 times in an attempt to be selected to fill out the survey again and again.  I was chosen three more times and skipped straight to question 67, marking old ham and salsa each time.  And that’s what we have here with the Angus Pizza Burger.  A burger mercilessly grilled until it’s bone-dry topped with an unidentifiable cheese, salsa, slice of ham from last year’s Easter celebration, and a single canned mushroom.  Let me tell you – the work I put into this thing was all worth it.  The best burger in the world.

While Dazney paid for all of the food pictured, I am under no obligation to write about it.  And I’m totally not worried that if I didn’t report on it that Dazney wouldn’t invite me back out for free food.  And the fact that I’ll do anything to remain on the Dazney gravy train in no way causes me to report back with blindingly positive comments about everything I experience on property.  In other words, you can totes trust me.

Last modified: August 27, 2014 Filed Under: Blog

Comments

  1. KS Joe says

    March 31, 2012 at 9:13 pm

    i just threw up in my mouth

    Reply
  2. Peaches says

    March 31, 2012 at 9:48 pm

    I walk down memory lane, I would order the tabbouleh pita.

    Reply
  3. Cindy says

    March 31, 2012 at 10:23 pm

    Thanks. You have inspired me to stick to my diet this week.

    Reply
  4. Vikki says

    March 31, 2012 at 10:38 pm

    I was planning on ignoring everything on the Internet for April Fool’s Day, but you started early … no fair!

    Reply
  5. Jill says

    March 31, 2012 at 10:38 pm

    RIP Angus Pizza Burger…

    This is great, Josh!!

    Reply
  6. @Aaron_Ardle says

    March 31, 2012 at 10:39 pm

    The worst part is thinking about how you actually purchased and consumed all of them, yikes.

    Reply
  7. Glenn says

    March 31, 2012 at 11:09 pm

    Thanks, Josh. April Fools to you as well.

    Reply
  8. OMG says

    April 1, 2012 at 1:18 am

    I gotta stop coming here first thing in the morning.

    Reply
  9. wongck says

    April 1, 2012 at 3:52 am

    Ahhh… it’s 1st April…. and I was like “The best ??? you cannot be serious….”

    Reply
  10. Lisa says

    April 1, 2012 at 4:25 am

    I just said to my daughter that I thought Josh must be drunk, but then I realized the date. Happy April Fools Day!

    Reply
  11. Shares says

    April 1, 2012 at 4:51 am

    You got me. Ga-ross.

    Reply
  12. DoctorK says

    April 1, 2012 at 5:17 am

    What you did there – I see it.

    Reply
  13. Patty57 says

    April 1, 2012 at 6:29 am

    I don’t remember the crunchy little balls review…what were they? Seriously funny stuff.

    Reply
  14. Jill says

    April 1, 2012 at 7:07 am

    I didn’t even realize it was April Fool’s Day until reading the comments. I just figured Josh was being his usual hilarious and sarcastic self.

    Reply
  15. goodferry says

    April 1, 2012 at 7:09 am

    Ick

    Reply
  16. rich3677 says

    April 1, 2012 at 7:23 am

    Yea, the best part is definitely that Josh actually ate all of those.

    Reply
  17. marlaine8 says

    April 1, 2012 at 8:01 am

    All 5 are really, really gross-looking. Do people know what they’re getting when they order these things, or are they “surprised”?

    Reply
  18. Sharon C. says

    April 1, 2012 at 8:19 am

    Ewww. Enough said. Happy April Fool’s.

    Reply
  19. Abharmagic says

    April 1, 2012 at 8:23 am

    I am interested in what the crunchy balls are too, b/c I think other than the weird addition of “balls” the pita meal looks ok. The pizza burger takes the cake as the grossest meal I think I have ever seen, in addition to the strangest interpretation of what a pizza burger might look like anywhere ever.

    Reply
  20. Ann says

    April 1, 2012 at 8:32 am

    I just lost my breakfast. Yuck!

    Reply
  21. phyllis3342 says

    April 1, 2012 at 8:49 am

    Very funny, as usual!

    One question, though – has no one ever heard of tabbouleh, or chick peas?

    Reply
  22. Melissa says

    April 1, 2012 at 9:28 am

    oh yummy .. jumping up and down
    can’t wait to lose my breakfast… GAG!
    Thanks Josh..now… how about DENIED or was that a joke too?

    Reply
  23. MrsNick says

    April 1, 2012 at 10:32 am

    Yagggg. Josh, I know you ordered those items to eat, but did you actually finish them? As in every last bite? If you did then I have got to hand it to you for your stick-to-it-iveness because I couldn’t have done it!

    And yah, the pizza burger deserves its placement at #1.

    Reply
  24. Samantha says

    April 1, 2012 at 11:20 am

    I detect a wee bit of sarcasm here…..

    Reply
  25. Anonymous says

    April 1, 2012 at 11:25 am

    Phyllis,

    Love tabbouleh and chick peas. We have a large middle eastern population nearby and the food is fantastic. I’m assuming what Disney presented was not up to snuff!

    Reply
  26. Jill says

    April 1, 2012 at 12:39 pm

    I enjoyed the tabbouleh at Tangierine Cafe in Epcot.

    Reply
  27. patricia says

    April 1, 2012 at 4:13 pm

    Everything I miss about Disneyworld….thanks for a good laugh, my husband thinks your funny, too

    Reply
  28. Stephanie says

    April 1, 2012 at 4:38 pm

    Neither tabouleh, nor chick peas are supposed to look like THAT, yuck… I think that Josh deserves a medal, or at least a bottle of scotch, for having had the intestinal fortitude (and I mean that in the most literal sense) to have sampled these.

    Reply
  29. josh says

    April 1, 2012 at 4:40 pm

    I always eat every bite. If I’m going to pay $10 for a hamburger, you better bet that it’s going to be consumed. No matter what it takes!

    Reply
  30. Courtney says

    April 1, 2012 at 5:09 pm

    After a long day in the drudgery of retail, this made me laugh my ass off! Thank you Josh!

    Reply
  31. breezy2 says

    April 1, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    They all look simply delicious to me. Great picks Josh, LOL

    Reply
  32. Jill says

    April 1, 2012 at 6:12 pm

    @Stephanie – Really? I googled Tabbouleh (and chick peas) and they look just like that (minus the pita.)

    Reply
  33. stevenmilz says

    April 1, 2012 at 8:02 pm

    I bet you didn’t have to wait 85 minutes for any of these feasts though… 🙂

    Reply
  34. Cindi says

    April 1, 2012 at 8:13 pm

    Lol, I thought you were on crack, until I remembered it was April 1st. Ha ha ha. You got me fair and square.

    Reply
  35. Shares says

    April 2, 2012 at 5:37 am

    Every time I scroll past that hotdog/burrito/hell thing I get queasy. Please don’t ever make us look at that again. Shudder.

    Reply
  36. Becky says

    April 2, 2012 at 11:46 am

    2 words(ish): Totes Hilar.

    Reply
  37. james says

    April 4, 2012 at 8:52 pm

    That is the real cool iphone accessory with completely hand-made with artificial jewelry, which makes your iphone to be the unique look.

    Reply
  38. Leah says

    March 31, 2013 at 9:32 pm

    I’m confused. Are all you people on the other side of the world? In my dimension it’s March 31st. Or at least for 30 more minutes..

    Reply
  39. Emma says

    April 1, 2013 at 3:59 am

    Thank you for the laugh!

    Reply
  40. wongck says

    April 1, 2013 at 4:51 am

    Ha ha…. didn’t you do something like this before last year.

    Reply
  41. Patty57 says

    April 1, 2013 at 6:00 am

    You just insulted wet badgers.

    Reply
  42. Br'er Brian says

    April 1, 2013 at 6:12 am

    First time back to site since our September trip. Forgot what I was missing. Hillarious as always! Thanks for the laughs, Josh! Keep up the good work.

    Reply
  43. mike says

    April 1, 2013 at 6:14 am

    I guess there are some things id pick sushi over but not many

    Reply
  44. Glenn says

    April 1, 2013 at 6:51 am

    Thanks Josh for the food memories. What a way to start the week!

    Reply
  45. Christie says

    April 1, 2013 at 6:54 am

    Awwww, I remember this post.

    Reply
  46. Cindy Kay says

    April 1, 2013 at 7:18 am

    How many drinks did you have while writing this? Laughed til I cried! Thanks Josh!

    Reply
  47. Christa M. says

    April 1, 2013 at 7:33 am

    Crying. (from laughter…and a little bit of sadness)

    Reply
  48. Stacey says

    April 1, 2013 at 7:56 am

    Hilarious! That “hotdog” was WAY too close for comfort! I can’t believe that item exists!

    Reply
  49. Jana says

    April 1, 2013 at 9:57 am

    “If there’s one thing in this world I love, it’s got to be balls.”

    Best quote of the day.

    Reply
  50. Jimmy N says

    April 1, 2013 at 10:09 am

    I’m wondering if the balls in the pita can also “literally” be bounced off the floor into one’s mouth.

    Reply
  51. QuackQuack says

    April 1, 2013 at 10:30 am

    Eeewwww – clearly you have the constitution of a billy goat, Josh! Thanks for taking five for the team!! I feel like I should send you a bottle of Pendleton as a thank you.

    Reply
  52. Dawn H says

    April 1, 2013 at 12:34 pm

    so glad that April Fools Day is in fact ONLY ONE DAY!…your having way too much fun!

    Reply
  53. Anonymous says

    April 1, 2013 at 4:20 pm

    Leah-
    I was confused for a bit too. And then I realized that the dimension they live in is 2012.

    Reply
  54. Tiffany says

    April 1, 2013 at 6:10 pm

    It should come as no surprise that Josh graduated Summa Cum Laude from the Bourdain School of Culinary Appreciaton!

    Reply
  55. pat says

    April 1, 2013 at 7:53 pm

    Best quick service? Huh.?

    Reply
  56. Dee says

    April 2, 2013 at 4:56 am

    “Spooned from the giant pork vat of pleasure”. LOL!

    This is “literally” the funniest food review ever. 🙂

    Reply
  57. Bunny says

    April 2, 2013 at 5:43 am

    “If your favorite pasta sauce isn’t cold balsamic vinaigrette salad dressing then I’m going to punch you in the face until it is.”

    This sentence made waking up today worth it.

    Reply
  58. camm says

    April 2, 2013 at 7:00 am

    I just can’t… sooooo funny LOLOL!!!!

    Reply
  59. Tom Bricker says

    April 2, 2013 at 7:22 am

    I think a little part of me died inside when I ate that disgusting Angus Pizza Burger. Literally. Even worse, I ordered it after having read your review of it…

    Reply
  60. Debbie says

    April 2, 2013 at 10:10 am

    I cannot quit laughing! At first, when I saw the first picture, I thought, “How can he possibly be serious that is is a favorite”? Halfway through I started laughing and will continue to do so until tomorrow afternoon. Thanks for starting my day so well.

    Btw ….. you are so right on!! We have taken to just making our own meals in lieu of counter service.

    Reply
  61. Dean says

    April 2, 2013 at 11:59 am

    Yum! Thanks for the review. I Plan to eat my own body weight in food every day when we visit in August!

    Reply
  62. Jessica D says

    April 3, 2013 at 6:22 am

    I thought it couldn’t get funnier than “With the sour cream creating a wet, slippery canvas, trying to get it in your mouth is sort of like playing with a damp badger. Delicious.”
    But then “If your favorite pasta sauce isn’t cold balsamic vinaigrette salad dressing then I’m going to punch you in the face until it is.” happened.
    And every word in the Angus Pizza burger review.

    Reply
  63. Anonymous says

    April 3, 2013 at 3:04 pm

    Oh the memories you really took some for the team. I still think the tabouli doesn’t look so bad. Nothing says yum like some balls.

    Reply
  64. Reagan says

    April 4, 2013 at 12:08 am

    I laughed until I cried. In fact, I’m still laughing and crying! That was awesome!

    Reply
  65. David says

    August 3, 2013 at 7:16 pm

    I don’t get it, Big Dan…

    Reply
  66. Steff says

    April 2, 2016 at 8:09 am

    “If they had it their way, everyone would book Be Our Guest dinner and share a single cupcake.”

    What foresight! Who would have guessed you were predicting BOG breakfast in 2016?

    Reply

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