CONTENT WARNING: Some of the hot dog pictures in the following post are graphic in nature. I have decided to simply highlight links to the full size image of the hot dog if you would like to click them. This way, everyone can enjoy the post. Don’t worry – there are no tricks here. This is a family website. No pictures of hot dogs will pop up on the screen. As hilarious as that would be, I don’t know how to do it.
So I promised something even more disgusting than the Angus Pizza Burger and Lobster Roll, and I am not one to keep the internet waiting. After making the rounds at Hollywood Studios this past Sunday, carefully lining up shots of menus and condiment bars throughout the Park, I limped over to Sunset Ranch Market to check out the “Premium Hot Dogs” at Fairfax Fare. As you may be aware, Sunset Ranch Market is comprised of several small quick service locations that share the same outdoor seating area. In the past, I’ve advocated on behalf of Fairfax Fare, pointing out that it offers some of the same entrees that are so popular at Cosmic Ray’s with similar or better quality. Generally speaking, that hasn’t changed with the new menu. You’ll find the same Chicken & Sparerib Combo, Half-Slab of Spareribs, and Half-Chicken that were on the menu previously. In fact, the prices on those items didn’t increase with the menu change.
Here’s the new lunch/dinner menu at Fairfax Fare. The Chili Hot Dog ($7.49) is no longer on the menu. The Jumbo Turkey Leg replaces the “regular” Turkey Leg ($7.59). The Barbecued Pork Sandwich is 20 cents more expensive. The Turkey Sandwich is new for kids and all Kids Meals are 50 cents more expensive. The same beverage increases are here too.
This meal got off to a bit of a rough start. I originally ordered the “Burrito Hot Dog” with Baked Beans. It was clear that the people preparing food had no idea how to put a Burrito Hot Dog together. In fact, the directions were still taped to the refrigerator, complete with a picture of the interior of the Dog and step-by-step instruction. No biggie. We’re not in any hurry. Eight minutes later (with no one in front of me and no orders taken after me), my Burrito Dog appeared in front of me with a bag of chips. Julie L (name changed to protect the innocent), a nice young girl with a soft voice, explained to me that the Hot Dogs didn’t come with Baked Beans. I double checked the menu, which is right next to each order window. I pointed to it and read it aloud, “Above items served with baked beans or coleslaw” and looked back down at Julie. She said that only entrees one through four were served with baked beans or coleslaw. I pointed to the menu again, saying that it said right here that all above items were served with baked beans or coleslaw and the Burrito Dog was clearly above. Julie L put her arms up in the air and shrugged, absolving herself of the situation. I smiled and turned to leave. The people behind me looked at Julie and said, “The menu does say it comes with beans,” as I sulked away to an open table.
I’m sticking with my guns on this one. In fact, I don’t see a mention of “chips” anywhere on the menu. The receipt printout does list the item as “Burrito Hotdog Chp,” which I’m assuming is a reference to chips. Looking back at it, I could have freaked out a bit more or demanded to speak with whatever superior officer was on site. But I was hungry, I had been wandering around the Studios for a couple of hours, and wasn’t in the mood to whine any longer about not receiving my beans. I made what I thought was a strong case and lost.
Just to be clear – this is the cup of beans we’re talking about (there near the back, in case you don’t see it). Maybe five bites.
This is it. Not so bad right? A little unconventional, maybe. It’s a bit odd how many of Disney’s new items say absolutely nothing about them. We didn’t know a thing about the Angus Pizza Burger, at least without the rough Spanish translation. Maybe a “Burrito Hot Dog” is a mainstream item “with the kids” these days, but I certainly didn’t know what to expect. It certainly is a burrito-looking thing. I guess you would be disappointed if you were expecting a bun. These “Premium” Hot Dogs have actually been available at Fairfax Fare for about three weeks. For a while there was a separate little sign inside the window with pictures of each Hot Dog. That insert has been removed with the new menu and we’re left with the three word description, “Burrito Hot Dog.” Let’s open this thing up and see what we’re dealing with here.
There it is. Click if you dare. Appetizing, right? We’ve got a dinky little hot dog, tomatoes, cheese, jalapenos, sour cream, lettuce and ummmm…whatever else. One of the other problems with the menu’s lack of clarity is that it makes it impossible to ask Disney to “hold” anything that you might not like. Not everyone likes jalapenos, sour cream, tomatoes etc. but you won’t know these items are on it unless you ask. I’m not sure what we’ll call this variety of glop. Burrito glop maybe. Let’s take some measurements. We are nothing, if not thorough, after all.
Click if you haven’t gouged out your eyes. So not only does it look unappetizing, but the hot dog is only half as big as the burrito. Generally speaking, Disney is clever with their bun sizes. They are universally smaller than whatever item that fills it. In the case of hot dogs, the buns are intentionally too short, making the dog appear larger than it is. I thought maybe another mistake had been made and they had slipped in a “child size” dog, but such a dog doesn’t exist. This is it.
Here it is rolled back up. I suppose there is a little user error here, in that I could have wrapped it up a little tighter to make it less sad looking. But as you can see from the first picture, it isn’t rolled too tightly in the first place, especially because the tortilla is on the fragile side.
As far as taste is concerned, I guess it was okay? I think it’s supposed to be cold. It was certainly cold by the time I got it to the table. I’m not sure if the dog itself was ever hot. This isn’t the Unofficial Guide after all – I don’t carry a meat thermometer with me. Maybe I should. As the picture above indicates, the hot dog is only present in about half of the Burrito. With the large circumference of the burrito and the weeny diameter of the dog, my calculations indicate that you will only receive hot dog in your mouth on 16% of bites. That might not be such a bad thing. The other ingredients seemed fresh, if not previously canned. In closing, I don’t recommend watching them unload the barbecued meat into the heating vats. I’m just saying. Ignorance is bliss.
Another new item down. I’m not sure what else Disney has in store for me – I just hope there are some new pastries at Boulangerie Patisserie or something.