Downtown Disney Drinking in Depth – Bongos Cuban Cafe and Laffer’s Cantina

Persevering after House of Blues and Wolfgang Puck Cafe.

Archival footage of Bongos since I neglected to photograph the building at the time.  I was too busy cussing out children and pushing over tourists to be bothered.  It won’t happen again.  I would guess a commenter named “Doesn’t Swear At Children Josh” will show up next.

I haven’t actually eaten at Bongos in forever and was explaining to Sara that we would have to return.  She seems to tolerate me so long as:

1. I’m paying.
2. There are drinks there.

Bongos has approximately three bars.  I may have been seeing double.  Let’s put it at 2.7 bars.

Just kidding, I’m pretty sure there are three bars.  This one is located further inside the restaurant in an alcove of sorts.

With some private looking tables, unless, you know, there’s a big name Disney blogger around.

Otherwise, the restaurant is open on both levels.

Heading upstairs.  Well, thinking about heading upstairs.

They have live Latin music on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights.  I don’t usually like music that I can’t turn off.

Upstairs.

And the third bar.

Bigger: https://www.easywdw.com/reports4/itsbongos.jpg.  I have not a single clue how you would decide what you wanted.  It’s so vast.

Main drink menu. Bigger: https://www.easywdw.com/reports4/stillbongos.jpg.

Inappropriate Sara.

That’s better.

A few more vessel options:

Unfortunately, we weren’t originally offered this menu, so we won’t be able to consume a 45 ounce mojito.  Or, a 21 ounce one at least.  It would be nice to have pricing on those! But you’d have to go to a more fully featured website for that sort of thing.

Is it appropriate to say the word, “Winning,” yet?

Turning up the contrast.

The $10 Bongos Cuban Original Mojito.  Sara momentarily forgot her lesson on bloggability and has ordered a glass of some sort of wine.  I haven’t spoken to her since.

I enjoyed this one quite a bit, but I’m thinking that my reviews from here on out are going to be less than reliable.  This struck me as being more worthwhile than the Wolfgang Puck Cafe martinis/mixed drinks.  I think I would have preferred to sit at the bar in front of the restaurant.  Bongos decided it would be a good idea to play the news, which is always a depressing way to get drunk.  We were a bit secluded in the back and it was kind of depressing sitting in the dark.  It reminded me of drinking at home.  I’d definitely return for another drink along with something off of that mammoth menu.  It’s important to note that they have cheap sandwiches available from 11am – 4pm, which would be a nice, cheap way to get off your feet comfortably in the afternoon.  Those same sandwiches are offered outside all day at the “Bongos Sandwich Window.”

You may recall that I liked the sandwich there quite a bit and it’s huge.

The purveyor of the restaurant is Gloria Estefan.  Did you know that she and her husband are worth over 700 million dollars?  Yeah.  They own seven restaurants, two hotels, and a piece of the Miami Dolphins.

Showing off.

Outside Bongos is a small bar area.

They’re ready for you.

In other news, this is happening.

We’ll try to give Planet Hollywood a shot, knowing full well that it’s going to be terrible.

But it resembled the Polynesian Resort in a tropical storm.

Those $15 vouchers you get with a Disney package seem to be working.  There are a total of four domestic locations still operating.  42 closed domestic locations.

This is Pleasure Island entertainment.

We’ll stop by Laffer’s Cantina on the way to Paradiso 37.  The name would make more sense if Comedy Warehouse was open.

Amusingly, this is the only place where they don’t have prices and neglected to give us a receipt.  The drinks are around $8-$10.

The Golden Margarita and Ultimate Long Island Iced Tea.  Speaking of forgetting things, Sara intermittently forgets that she doesn’t like tequila.  Good for me, because I’ll get to drink most of both.  Even after already consuming 9,000 cocktails, these drinks were still extremely strong.  Surprisingly strong.  I don’t know if the bartenders just thought we were cute or they pour the whole bottle in the cup for everyone, but I think I can point to this moment specifically as when things started to go downhill.  Anyway, I was happy with these drinks, but our iterations were at least very boozy.  Good if you’re me, but potentially not if you’re looking for something fruitier.  There’s always the French Flirtini.  My guess is the Grey Goose Le Citron Slush is the same as what’s served in the France Pavilion at Epcot?