Briefly, yes, I did almost die, which is the reason for the lack of updates, but I am back, fully healed to 100% curmudgeon, and probably even more bitter than usual. I’ve never been a big fan of the metric system, but when they tell you that you’re within a centimeter of having a hole drilled into your head, you’re awfully glad they’re not basing their calculations on feet.
In this post, we’ll enjoy a leisurely, scenic walk around Crescent Lake near Epcot and Hollywood Studios to get back into the swing of things. Then I’ll see how quickly I can come up with the website’s 403rd different way of describing the consistency of flan (hopefully “soft and custardy” is good enough this year) for the Festival of the Holidays, and then get into the nitty gritty of Genie+ and precisely what order you need to press the 72,918 buttons on your phone in case you’re deemed worthy of the blessing of an Alien Swirling Saucers Lightning Lane pass before noon instead of Muppet*Vision for sometime next week.
With the Parks opening as much as an hour early for resort/eligible guests during the 50th anniversary celebration and no end date in sight, the parking lots should be accessible to all guests earlier than they had been as recently as September 2021, rendering our Swan/Dolphin trick to get to the Studios largely unnecessary. You might remember that we snuck ahead of everyone who was parking, since the lot was closed, everyone on the Skyliner, because it wasn’t yet open, and everyone on the buses, because they weren’t transporting guests yet, simply by taking this joyous 20-minute sojourn by being dropped off or parking at the Swan/Dolphin. The upside to the third-party resort drop-off was that it was (as far as your normal guests is concerned) security-free. With Disney, you never know if you’re getting Burt Macklin, who is pretty sure that they’re guarding Fort Knox, or Ronald McDonald, who just wants to get back to his Chicken McNuggets.
Since I enjoy the scenery, had gotten out of bed approximately twice in three weeks, and was actually headed to Epcot without a care in the world other than the pricing panic on the Italy Festival menu front, I decided we might as well arrive early and hope I (don’t?) collapse before arriving at whatever flavored glue Patina decided to serve up this year for $12-$15.
If you’re traveling to the Studios (in particular) in the morning, walking is almost always faster than the boats. The rush is on because thousands of other guests are trying to beat you to the entrance and will cause much longer waits most of the day should they arrive before you. While I might have been bedridden, and partially paralyzed, you can be sure that I completed my daily elbow-sharpening routine. Exercise is important. Knocking kids over is just a bonus.
Back to what may or may not technically be boats, they are frustratingly slow, are so musty that they make my apartment smell like a Glade commercial in comparison, and on top of all of that, you have to wait for the “opportunity” to board a vessel that should be named, “The Slowest Cruise That Ever Sailed.” At least there isn’t an accompanying song. Although learning how to sing, “It’s a big world after all. And we’re going to traverse it very, very slowly” in Aramaic may get the kids hyped up for World Showcase. Protip: No matter how slow the boat might be moving, try not to do a cannonball off it. Or if you do, wear brain-eating-amoeba-armor. Don’t make the same mistake I did.
You can see that we have some late walkers heading in direction of Hollywood Studios or to sleep off a hangover underneath that bridge. Not that I know anything about either. But if you look far in the distance, there is already a boat underneath the bridge at 8:30am. Those transportation start times do change, of course, which makes our foolproof walkway plan all the more infallible.
For a complete look at what to expect from the walk to the Studios from Beach/Yacht/BoardWalk, see this, and again what it looks like coming in from the Swan/Dolphin here. Bottom line: in almost all cases, you want to walk to Hollywood Studios as early as possible, and ideally leave the room about 90 minutes before official opening. That may sound like a lot, but you could be in for a full hour of extra morning ride time every day of the week. When we (eventually) get to the Studios, we’ll enjoy the same hour-long head start coming in from the All-Star Movies as the Grand Floridian Resort. At worst, you’ll just be among the first to board the ride of your choice once Disney is ready for the onslaught calm walk to not Alien Swirling Saucers.
The walk over to the Studios is 15ish minutes from this area depending on where it is you’re traveling and how many times you fall over. The boat is closer to a 20-minute jaunt, plus time to board, depart, stop at what feels like every resort in the metropolitan Orlando area, and not then even have the decency to go through the McDonald’s Drive-Thru on the way over. Epcot takes about half as much time, with the Swan/Dolphin/Why Did I Reserve This Resort a couple extra minutes away. It all basically evens out, which doesn’t mean you can’t go into a full rage at any moment.
While we’re here, we can take in a glimpse of the Swan Reserve as the glass building in the very back, which is conveniently and largely blocked behind this tree. The pictures are only as good as the payouts. I’m not sure why they named the resort in that manner, other than the fact that they may be reminding you that you have the option of reserving another resort. See what I did there? You may need to give me a few weeks of grace before the knee-slappers return to one post per week.
That’s a better look at the Swan (Please Book Here) Reserve in back. We’ll check it out when the mini golf next door calms down a bit, but I don’t think there’s much worth sneaking into over there. That doesn’t mean we can’t jump on our motorbike, grab our second generation GoPro, and see if we can get any YouTube attention. You’d think the Reserve would be a prime spot for another rooftop restaurant, but maybe there is a quota, not that anybody follows the law in Florida anyway. Right? They may also have thought Disney was actually going to build their own Festival Center with rooftop bar/restaurant access. Haha. If it were up to me, I would have pulled a Fairfield Inn a la Disneyland and put a Pizza Hut up there. It’d be the most popular location on property and I don’t even think you’d need to post the receipt of your $45 personal pan pizza.
There are few scenes more calming than Crescent Lake in the early morning. I’ve tried bottling it up, but Home Depot refused to deliver any more bathtubs to the various lobbies.
Anyone lucky enough to stay along the water knows what I’m talking about. At least minus the honking boats. But it just adds to the atmosphere of a bustling Atlantic City marina, right? Sort of like a pterodactyl coming for your french fries at T-Rex Restaurant at Disney Springs. Or being dissatisfied with Morimoto Asia. Or a blogger trying to take a picture of your food over your shoulder and then pretending to review it. It’s just what you would expect.
There’s a small amount of construction going on in front of the BoardWalk. I wouldn’t expect the work to last long, but we’ll try to take an aerial look if Launchpad McQuack ever puts down enough Dramamine to sort of get us back in the air.
But Launchpad is ready to go, which means we can see that the area behind the walls looks like routine concrete work that will be completed shortly. Of course, it could also be the foundation for another Italian restaurant.
The BoardWalk’s Christmas Tree is roughly up in the same outdoor location. The website has joked about pictures being “artsy because they’re tilted” for years, but the truth of the matter is that I simply can’t hold a camera straight. While there are walls in back, you’ve still got plenty of angles for a clear shot, including one looking back at the water or a horizon that seems like it should be a little more horizontal. The 50th anniversary wall coverings may also provide additional opportunities as you can tell your kids how great Walt Disney World was just five or six years ago. They probably can’t count to 50, anyway. Or if they can, send them to China, because they’re not going to get any smarter here.
While we lack a gingerbread village again this year, the BoardWalk Resort is still brimming with holiday spirit, and these pictures don’t even include the coffee bar decorations, which were impossible to get to with so many people ordering…coffee. And yes, the flower picture below is slightly different than the one used to open the post. It’s not like I’m going crazy. If anything, a bigger brain is better, right? High-res thinking:
And we’re back outside, now closer to BoardWalk Bakery and the floaty-ish vessels that make me look like Michael Johnson (remember the gold shoes) at the Atlanta Olympics. Hopefully these people are headed to like Spaceship Earth as 9am approaches. Alien Swirling Saucers may be calling.
Poor Trattoria, which opens for breakfast at 7:30am.
Depending on Park opening times and where you’re coming from, there is some value to be had at the restaurant, so long as you’re on your way to the Parks in plenty of time for rope drop (60+ minutes before opening) or taking things leisurely by taking the slow boat to Spaceship Earth if that’s what the Genie demands you to do. Heck, after getting off one of those boats, Spaceship Earth might feel like a real roller coaster.
We’ll make our way over to the Beach Club to check on the spinning gingerbread situation there:
And some additional decorations:
The Little Mermaid is a fun theme that works relatively well, though I’m not sure of the underwater horse situation. Maybe if you go deep enough they are down there. Personally, I’m not checking. Maybe ask James Cameron from his personal submarine as he completes work on Avatar 1.5 Or Thereabouts.
We’re headed over to the Yacht Club next door. You can see how close the Beach Club is on the right in blue (the building, not the water), making a visit to both resorts a piece of cake gingerbread that only takes three or four minutes of walking.
Without the gingerbread, and with no other business in the area, it may or may not be worth the venture over to the BoardWalk. Of course, you could always hop on a bus to Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, or Disney Springs. You could do the same at Yacht/Beach. Or about a hundred other locations.
Taking the boat over to BoardWalk may also be the exact amount of Disney water transport that you can handle before considering your options to hurdle yourself off in any direction. They say you shouldn’t jump off moving objects. But I’m not sure the watercraft are technically in motion. The flowers are pretty.
We can also continue on the boat back to Epcot to hop on the Skyliner to Riviera/Caribbean Beach/Pop Century/Art of Animation. Or as the case may be, to actually enter Epcot via the International Gateway on the left. There’s also the Skyliner connection to the Studios.
Going to a theme park. What a novel concept. We’ll be back.
Here’s a look back at the Boardwalk/Swan/Dolphin area. Larger: Here. Or Widest (warning: very wide).
We’ll head over to the Yacht Club to check out the model train set that 9-year-old-me, thumbing through the JC Penny holiday toy catalog, would have done just about anything to acquire just one piece. Maybe my parents would have purchased me some track if I promised never to become a blogger. I didn’t even need the engine or caboose. They were trying times.
And we’re walking:
Your moment in the vicinity of zen pic.twitter.com/3D03YmxPdb
— josh (@easywdw) November 26, 2021
I have a very lousy video of this year’s train set should you wish for a little more kinetic energy than pictures provide. You know, like at Tron at Shanghai. So kinetic:
I wonder if you could sponsor the sign the snowperson is holding. Thinking snow here in Florida, is a harmless, albeit worthless exercise, minus the whole devastation to the entire economy thing should it actually happen. Just wait for Global Cooling to become the hot topic again in a dozen years. You’ll be happy you flew around in that private jet.
By my calculations, these boats need to be at least three times bigger. Unless there is an ant infestation we don’t know about. Either way, they’d probably still be faster than Disney’s watercraft:
Even with all of the picture taking, the occasional fall, thanking people for their well wishes, and whatnot, I spent almost exactly 90 minutes on my tour around Crescent Lake. Add shopping or exploring the resorts more and you’re looking at additional time. Deep thoughts, right?
Above is the walkway over to Epcot. You can tell because the most confused-looking people are headed there (many with the nine-ride stare from Hollywood Studios from the previous day), in addition to boats and the Skyliner.
We’ll very briefly head into Epcot before visiting each of the various Festival outdoor/holiday/prison/Patina kitchens individually:
Festival reviews here we come. Maybe we’ll even get to all of them.
Welcome back!! I haven’t even read this article yet, I’m just so happy to see it, I had to comment.
Wonderful pictures. I love it!!
Thanks for all you do, Josh. I missed you!!
Welcome back, Josh!! So very excited to see a new article. I hope you are on the mend.
Great to read your post again! Hoping you’re doing well!
Glad you’re doing well. Welcome back! Your voice of reason has been missed in the larger WDW scene.
Yay,
You’re back! Whatever crap you went through left your sense of humour intact. Phew! 😀
Hope you’re feeling better!
YYYYYAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!! Holiday wishes do come true!!
We missed you, Josh! Glad you’re doing well enough to subject yourself to the Italy booth!
Guess who’s back! Tell a friend!
It is so nice to see you again Josh 🙂
So glad you’re back in action! I diligently checked your site every day but the wait was worth it! For the first time in over 20 years I don’t have a trip planned nor do I intend to go back in 2022 but I still read your blogs.
Thank you for those lovely pictures around my favourite area of Disney World. So glad you’re okay – it’s great to have you back.
I thought the genie killed your will to live. I’m glad you are alive.
Welcome back Josh! You have the best Walt Disney World site on the Internet. Great Pictures and looking forward to many more.
Advent and Christmas Blessings,
So glad to have your beautiful images and witty, always amusing commentary back Josh! Can’t wait for those stellar patina group “food” reviews😆 May the holiday force be with you❄️
So good to have you back 🙂
So glad to see you’re back getting your snark on. Hope you’re getting better every day.
Gorgeous pictures! So happy to see a post!
So glad you are feeling better! Your blog introduced me to the Crescent Lake area years ago. Ive stayed at Beach Club and the Swan since. It’s my favorite area. Happy to see you are healthy enough to enjoy it at Christmas!
Very, very happy that you’re back! Really enjoyed the article and especially all the photos!
My constant refreshing of easywdw finally paid off! Thank you, Josh!
Welcome back!!!
Welcome back! Keep up the snark!
Look at you, soaking in that Vitamin D! Nice to have you back!!
So glad you are back! If you ever need a replacement, feel free to give me holler. I keep my elbows Disney-sharp at all times, and my Kodak Disc is loaded and ready to go. We could swap in and out Dread Pirate Roberts style. No one would have to know.
Thank you for the well wishes. It means a lot.
Only because YOU mean a lot to so many of us! Wishing you nothing but the best for 2022. Stay healthy & snarky!
Welcome back! You were missed.
Welcome back! So glad you are doing better!
Welcome back! You were missed. Take care of yourself.
So glad you are back and that your sarcasm has not been compromised.
So happy to see a post from Josh! Glad you are better! Cheers to good health!
So glad to see you back and in fine form, at that! Really looking forward to your hot take on Genie +!
So happy you are on the mend and back at it!
Brava!
Welcome back! So glad you’re recovering!!
I’ve actually cancelled my January Disney trip and am going to Universal for the first time, but still read every word of your post. So glad to see you back!
Missed your wit and sly humor- glad you are back
We are so glad that you are doing better! We missed you!
Thanks for sharing all your beautiful photos in your report.
Take care!
Glad to see you are back! Your unique take on WDW is greatly refreshing.
Good to have you back! Like the train pics.
Josh, easywdw is the only Disney blog I continue to read when I’m not planning a trip, so I was sad for you and us when I assumed your absence was a result of the impact of the pandemic and that you had become disillusioned and gone home. When you tweeted about your illness, it just about broke my heart that you were so ill for so long, while we were selfishly missing your blog. The hours of work, your diligence with stats and analyses, and your sarcastic wit spark joy for us and, I’m sure, countless others. For your sake and ours I am super happy you are back.
Happy to hear you’re alive and kickin’! Keep up the good work, happy to have you back
Huzzah for sarcastic wit and fantastic photos. Welcome back, Josh!
Glad you are on the mend.
I figured you took one look at the reality of Genie + and said “nope, nope, nope. I’m going to start easyUniversal.com instead!”
So glad to have you back! I was sorry to hear of your illness and hope you make a full recovery..
The photos are BEAUTIFUL!! So much detail that I never see.
I took a short trip in November and was very frustrated with the : Check phone/New plan; Check phone/New plan; Check phone/New plan all day long! I may have to take one more trip before my AP runs out in April just to try whatever advise you come up with for G+.
Stay healthy – we need you!
Yay! It’s so good to have you back and more importantly to hear that your good health has returned! You are a gifted writer and I am glad that you choose to spend your time writing at this blog!
So great to see you posting again! Hope you are feeling better.
I’m glad you are well and back to doing what you do best! Thanks for getting back into it!
Glad you’re not dead! I assumed you had it with Disney and quit blogging, though that might have been better scenario for you. But glad you’re better and back to blogging!
So glad to have you back! Your blog is my favorite. 🙂