We continue from Canada.

A couple of years ago, Appleseed Orchard took up residence inside Canada’s Circle-Vision 360 theater, since O’ Canada was in the process of being switched over to Canada Far & Wide. EPCOT has since made the switch to the new production that’s more like 287.2 degrees. Apparently, Disney would prefer to sell apples in the building than offer the film presentation, which is barely 18 months old. Apparently biomes and off-camera narrators didn’t exactly resonate with guests. I’m at least one of those myself, but I would implore you to stick with me rather than spending 365 days a year picking apples.

If you’re looking for the Orchard, continue down past the entrance to Le Bifteck Cher Cellier on the left until you eventually arrive around the corner into the world of la pomme.

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We continue on from Refreshment Port.

Canada returns in the same spot in front of its namesake Pavilion. On the promenade, it’s the booth that you’ll pass after Australia on the left and Refreshment Port on the right.

Both popular food items return this year, each 50 cents more expensive than last year. I wonder if we should start taking bets on when Canada will actually offer a new food item. A similar Merlot from the same winery returns from last year alongside a new beer from the same brewery. This is the second year in a row that an Ice Wine hasn’t been featured, perhaps because the portions were simply so small for the money given the high bottle price and the sheer sweet viscosity of it all that complaints piled up. I’d certainly like to see it return, perhaps with an asterisk that it’s probably not what you’re expecting and you may have to put the ounce on layaway.

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We continue from Australia.

Refreshment Port is located on the right side of World Showcase as you walk towards the Canada Pavilion or on the left side after you pass through our neighbors to the north. During the Food and Wine Festival, the Australia Marketplace situates itself across the way. Miss you Orange Bird and General Citrus Lobby. I still waved.

Refreshment Port has become a bit of a Festival poutine headquarters in recent years, offering a new take for most Festivals. As far as strongly-worded letters from the citizens of the great country of Canada go, I don’t name the dishes, so please send hate mail in Disney’s direction as it’s been five or six years and they seem to think  that putting anything on top of fries qualifies as Poutine. There will probably just be a hamburger on top of them next year. “It’s not a Hamburger Combo! It’s Poutine, which comes with a $2 upcharge because it sounds fancier than ‘Old Hamburger Recently Found in the Electric Umbrella Rubble.'” The kiosk did go decidedly non-bougie this year as they’ve served “Lobster Poutine” and “Duck Confit Poutine” among others over the years. The very good Maple Boursin Cheesecake moves over here, as the company had to move booths since their old one is in a construction zone I’d still risk death, or at least some minor scratches, or sending in an assistant, for that Cheesecake though. And we have a new wine and beer. Note that only the regular Poutine is a snack credit and not the specialty version, unlike most other Festival dishes. We’ll see why in a moment.

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We continue from Shimmering Sips.

Australia returns to its rightful position as the first kiosk you’ll see on the left of the Promenade on the way towards Canada. It had been replaced by the Generic Citrus Lobby for the last several Festivals, offering some pretty lackluster offerings for Flower and Garden in particular, when I don’t even think we saw a food item on the menu. But just about everybody was running on about half a cylinder back in January and February. I might have even tried that Florida Vineyards Blueberry Wine it was such a strange time. I’m not entirely sure how islands work, other than I think we could agree to jettison the Harmonious barges somewhere out into the ocean and reel in some shrimp instead.

Food:

• Grilled Sweet-and-Spicy Bush Berry Shrimp with Pineapple, Pepper, Onion and Snap Peas  – $6
• Roasted Lamb Chop with Sweet Potato Purée, Bush Berry Pea Salad, and Pistachio-Pomegranate Gremolata – $8.25
• Deconstructed Pavlova with Pastry Cream, Citrus-macerated Berries, and Lemon Myrtle Meringue – $4

Beverages:

• Coopers Brewery Original Pale Ale – $5 for six ounces or $9 for twelve ounces
• Cape Mentelle Sauvignon Blanc Semillon – $6
• Robert Oatley Chardonnay – $6
• Château Tanunda Grand Barossa Cabernet Sauvignon  – $6
• Wine Flight: – $6.50

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We continue from Noodle Collection to Shimmering Sips, since The Shimmering Collection sounds like a Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique upcharge. Give them a couple months and we’ll be reviewing it if I can get into one of those tutus. 

The Marketplace Formerly Known as “The Almond Orchard Hosted By Blue Diamond Almonds Almond Breeze Almondmilk” (seriously) is called “Shimmering Sips hosted by Corkcicle” for the first time this year.

Corkcicle offers a variety of items intended to keep your beverage cold. It looks like they’re going after the Tumbler/Wine Flute crowd this year.

I have a pair of what are apparently called Chillsners that were a gift given years ago, potentially because the poor girl’s mom thought I would be sent to prison in the near future and this is the sort of shiv that might come in handy down the line, probably with a little sharpening and some toothpaste. That’s one thing you learn in prison. Everything requires toothpaste. Anyway, the Chillsner is a rather silly product as they are likely geared towards men who won’t remember to put them in the freezer. So you have a fairly useless HouseTemperaturener instead. Second, anyone who takes so long to finish a beer that it becomes unbearably warm isn’t welcome anywhere near me. Third, you can really only use it once or twice before it gets warm even if you are a maniac on the Heineken bottles. And fourth, your lips go on the top of the Chillsner. This may not seem like a big deal, but usually a man likes to feel the bottle around his mouth instead of suctioning it to the same piece of steel every sip. But anyway, they’re a sponsor this year. And I have two Chillsners available. You just have to beat me with my sharpened ends and bottle of toothpaste.

I am the final boss.

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