We continue from Las Pasadas.

There was a time (2020) when China offered an ambitious holiday menu of previously-frozen (baked, kind of) egg rolls, microwaved (too long) bao buns, and a (gummy) meat of questionable origin. In a somewhat surprising move, the China booth is not open for this year’s Festival in any capacity. Instead, it sits with its slats shuttered and its doors deadbolted, presumably postponing operation until the Festival of the Arts. I would post a picture of the partitioned off kiosk, but I feel like this post is already as praiseless as a meal at Morimoto Asia precisely when you least predict it.

Continue reading “Shanghai Lotus Blossom Cafe EPCOT Festival of the Holidays Review”

We continue from Chestnuts and Good Cheer.

Las Posadas, which is a reference to the Inn in the story of the birth of Jesus, takes up residency in the usual spot before arriving at the pyramid on the lagoon side. Those nuts are located at a kiosk down to the right of this picture.

Continue reading “Las Posadas Mexico EPCOT Festival of the Holidays Review”

We continue from The Donut Box.

The Chestnuts and Good Cheer Holiday Kitchen takes over for what I generally refer to as Corn Smoke Cough Alley. For whatever reason, Disney has decided that putting giant smokers along the water with no barriers to shield guests walking along the promenade is healthy, so long as the kiosk is sponsored by the vegetarian arms of the likes of Monsanto or DuPont, depending on chemical seasonality. It’s a good opportunity to light up and mask something like your…asthma inhaler… without anyone being the wiser, since the billowing smoke doesn’t only fill your nostrils, but is also so blinding that you might do something silly while trying to navigate the Disney app like book Morimoto Asia for dinner instead of a restaurant offering edible food like Wine Bar George or Golden Corral.

Continue reading “Chestnuts and Good Cheer EPCOT Festival of the Holidays Review”

Welcome to EPCOT, a unique opportunity to indulge in some of the finest gourmet delicacies from around the world, all while enjoying the immersive atmosphere of authentic music and entertainment carefully selected from around the globe. And also The Donut Box.

Said Box situates itself in between Creations Shop, the replacement for MouseGear, which somehow smells even more like a sewer than before given the current state of construction. And then there’s Test Track on the other side, where you can reach top speeds that will probably feel slower than what you felt hauling yourself away from Hollywood Studios the day prior. It may not be just a feeling as the speed limit is actually higher. Thanks Florida Department of Transportation.

The good news, should you be holding out for something like the $36 worth of food from the Italy kiosk, or the disappointment of a Morimoto Asia reservation later in the evening, is that strolling by poopy exhaust on your way to the equivalent of a Dunkin’ Donuts that looks to be about three days away from foreclosure is all the more easy. The bad news is the donuts are pretty good and the beer is pretty rare on draft.

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Briefly, yes, I did almost die, which is the reason for the lack of updates, but I am back, fully healed to 100% curmudgeon, and probably even more bitter than usual. I’ve never been a big fan of the metric system, but when they tell you that you’re within a centimeter of having a hole drilled into your head, you’re awfully glad they’re not basing their calculations on feet.

In this post, we’ll enjoy a leisurely, scenic walk around Crescent Lake near Epcot and Hollywood Studios to get back into the swing of things. Then I’ll see how quickly I can come up with the website’s 403rd different way of describing the consistency of flan (hopefully “soft and custardy” is good enough this year) for the Festival of the Holidays, and then get into the nitty gritty of Genie+ and precisely what order you need to press the 72,918 buttons on your phone in case you’re deemed worthy of the blessing of an Alien Swirling Saucers Lightning Lane pass before noon instead of Muppet*Vision for sometime next week.

Continue reading “A Brisk Holiday Walk Around the Crescent Lake Epcot Area at Walt Disney World”