On the plus side, at least you're not freezing wearing shorts like you were a few weeks ago in Seattle.
I think it was 94 degrees on the day I left Seattle.
Youth is wasted on the young.
The in-laws were having 19 people gathering at their house today including 7 people from out of the country staying with them. I talked to my MIL earlier in the week and we agreed that I would bring potato salad and a green salad. She told me who was bringing other things and they would get some chicken from KFC to supplement. The plan sounded good. She's getting on in years so it sounded like she wouldn't have to do much, just pick up prepared things and deal with having all of these people staying with her. I also figured my SIL who is part of the group staying would be a big help to her. So I spent the morning peeling and dicing 10 lbs. of hot potatoes and baking candied pepper bacon for the green salad. Wouldn't you know I walk in the door and there is MIL making mashed potatoes. I open the fridge and see a green salad. I wish she would write things down. She said she thought I was just bringing potato salad. Then why was she making potato salad? And she had cooked corn. She was already looking wiped out when we got there. So we came home with pretty much all of the green salad we brought and about half of the potato salad. She always thinks there won't be enough food and ends up with way too much and throws it out. When she's coming to our house she will call the day before to "confirm" what she's bringing which really means she can't remember for sure what she said she would bring. I told DH that I need to start doing what she does and call her the day before to "confirm" what I'm bringing to remind her. This is not the first time that I've brought food that was duplicated. I've made pies and shown up to see 3 store-bought pies. Made rolls and there's a bag of store-bought.
And speaking of DH, his driving seems to be getting more aggressive every year. Fine, go 80 in a 65 zone. But when he's still doing 80 when the speed limit goes down to 55 then he's getting out of hand. While he's looking in the mirrors and behind him to see if he can swerve around a car not going fast enough in front of him, he doesn't see that said car is putting on its brakes. I am turning into my mother who used to be really horrible to have in the passenger seat. I did some gasping and pretend slamming of the brakes and grabbing the door handle. Yup, I'm my mother. He couldn't slow down and pull behind a car tonight to prepare for our exit so he ended up missing our exit and had to cloverleaf around to get home. We spent 3 minutes with the detour instead of the extra 30 seconds behind a slower moving car.
OK, done for the night.
Mastering the art of creative avoidance
Geez...that doesn't sound like aggressive driving...that's dangerous driving! Yikes. People who drive like that are the people I worry about encountering on the roads. Well, those...and distracted drivers.
Still there, Josh? Or did you melt overnight?
Medals received : 2008 WDW Half ~ 2010 Princess Half + 2010 Disneyland Half = Coast to Coast ~ 2011 WDW Full ~ 2011 Wine & Dine Half ~ 2012 WDW Marathon Relay ~ 2012 Expedition Everest Challenge ~ 2013 Half + Full = GOOFY Challenge
Medals pending : Disneyland Dumbo Double Dare, Tinkerbell Disneyland Half, TOT 10 miler, Dopey Challenge, Glass Slipper Challenge
Becca, I totally understand you frustration, especially hand-making something yummy only to be superseded by something store-bought. My mom writes everything down....on thousands of notes scattered all around the house and which she is never able to reference again.
I have a good memory, but I still write everything down - in a pre-designated place where I can easily reference it. I've mentioned to mom I'd be happy to set up the same system for her if she'd like, but she says "No, it sounds too confusing". Yea, way more confusing that the confetti of paper shrouding every horizontal surface in your home, mom.
In regards to the aggressive driving - are you sure we're not married to the same man? And yes, I find myself doing the invisible passenger brake just like my mom does.
Ok, my current rant: My 20 yr old son has his girlfriend over. She is a very nice girl and I completely support their relationship the problem is recently he has been treating her horribly. Today she was upset because he has basically been ignoring her so she asked him to take her home. He outright refused saying he doesn't feel like driving. Her parents are at work, my husband is working the late shift and due to some medical issues I can't drive. I asked him why she was here and he said, right to her face, that was so she wouldn't (insert bad word here) all weekend. I'm not trying to interfere in their relationship but I will not allow him to talk to a woman like that. Any suggestions
I'd go with that or having your DH take a fast swing at his gut, on behalf of the girlfriend and her menfolk. But, maybe I'm too medieval.
Oh MY! Imust admit I would feel the need to interfere. First, I'd have him drive her home. And 2nd I'd talk with him with Dad present about how to treat a girl. But most importantly find out WHY he is treating her this way. If he wants to break-up with her (for whatever reason), than he should let her go and not treat her poorly in the mean time. Obviously at his age you can't punish him, but finding out the Why behind it may help.
DH DD11 DS8 DS6
Unfortunately he pays his own car payment, insurance and cell phone bill. Internet he has on his iPhone that he bought himself.
The old fashion side of me misses the days when parents could smack their kid upside the head when warranted.
He's definitely taken advantage of the fact that I have been mostly bed ridden for over a week so he is pushing my limits. I am going to have a nice talk with Dad in the am and have him talk to him. As to the Why, I have asked him multiple times recently if that is the problem and he says no, but who knows? My feeling is if your not happy together than don't stay together.
Warning - this is advice from a person with no kids - take it for what it's worth (probably nothing!)
Personally, I feel that he is an adult. Unsolicited guidance regarding manners or behavior seem a bit inappropriate with an adult child.
That said, if he is living at your house, I think you are completely within your rights to expect certain behavior from him while he is in that house. Common sense would say that showing respect for other house guests at all times would be one of those basic rules. The girlfriend was not at "his" house, she was at your house, she was your guest. If he chooses to treat her poorly, he can do it elsewhere.
The girlfriend should also be able to stick up for herself. If she doesn't, then there's some dynamic there that you may not be aware of. Not a good one maybe, but something that keeps them both coming back to each other even though things don't seem very happy.
This its where being a parent really sucks. He knows that I am incapable of kicking him out. He works full time but at a teaching hospital so he barely makes min wage. All his earnings go towards his car payment, insurance, etc. so I know he can't afford his own place until after vet school. Maybe daddy really needs to sit down and have a nice chat with him about our expectations. My husband (his "Dad" but not biologically) has never treated me this way nor spoken to me like this. The most annoying part is that if my son ever saw anyone treat me or any female member of our family like this he would flip out.
I know this sounds crazy, but when I was forced to move back home and live with my parents after college, they made up a rental contract which included certain "extras" like what time I needed to be home every night, and that my room needed to be cleaned every week. These weren't to "punish" me for coming back home, but to keep the house and family running as smoothly as possible.
At the time I thought they were treating me like a child, but in hindsight I completely understand why they did it, and it made a situation that could have been completely awful at least a little better. It definitely kept my mom and I from arguing all the time.
That sound like a great idea, thanks. I find, especially with older kids, if its in writing discussed and agreed upon before hand it make it easier for everyone to understand what is expected. We are in the process of this with our 11 yr old daughter so she doesn't feel that we are just punishing her or saying no because we're "mean"
I think your reputation as a mom raising a boy/man is at stake. You can tell a lot about how a man will treat you by seeing how he treats his mother. You said he never treats you like this so don't let this girl or anyone think that this is regular behavior. You don't need to wait for your DH to get home to talk to him. My guess is that he wants to break up with the girl but is avoiding the confrontation. He may figure that if he treats her poorly enough she will break it off. She may be whiny and needy. Perhaps a more in-depth discussion with him about what is good about the relationship, what he likes about her, what he doesn't like about her, etc. will get to the root of the problem. Maybe she has been pushing for more of a commitment than he wants to give. I don't think there's anything wrong with a parent expressing opinions about an adult child's behavior or choices. Just realize that they may not listen or value your opinion.
Mastering the art of creative avoidance
Wow, I'll bet that made it even more difficult to hear him doing something similar to his girlfriend! Yuck.This is kinda what i'm afraid of his biological father was verbally, mentally and physically abusive to the both of us. I decided when he was young that I did not want him growing up thinking this behavior was normal so we left and have had no contact with him.
My kind, calm, and sweet-to-the-core brother went through a phase like this when he was about 21. He turned into the biggest jerk around girls, it just appalled me. I have no idea what caused it, if it was the fact we drank more than we probably should have at that point in our lives, the group of guys he hung out with in college were that way, or what, but it really sucked. Fortunately he grew out of it the next year and met the girl he's been married to for 21 years.
My rant for the day: I just spent 2 hours(no exaggeration) filling out school forms. I have 2 kids in high school and each came home with a least 10 forms that needed to be filled out-emergency card, student conduct form, band form, textbook responsibility form, video/photo release form, each teacher had their own form they wanted filled out. Not to mention 5 checks for fees for this that and the other thing. My head is spinning.
I just can't understand why in this day and age they can't computerize those forms. That emergency one annoys me every year. They make us fill out 2 copies for each child and then for every field trip we have to fill it out all over again. Heaven forbid the info is online and available to be maintained and printed REAL TIME in this digital age.
I fell for you Ann.